Wow, rarely does something really shock me. I’m just not really ever surprised about things anymore – especially concerning men.
Today I found out that that ex I told you about, F, the one I finally un-facebooked, is married and just had his first kid. At the beginning of October.
I saw him in march. He showed up at a party, despite living 6 hours away, and caught me off guard. We spoke briefly, I hadn’t seen him in over 6 months, and he suggested that we have breakfast because he wanted to catch up but our friends at the party knew our history — and his fiance. I told him that was probably not a good idea, but when he text me the next morning I agreed, despite my better judgment (and a few texts from my sister). We had a nice lunch catching up, but the conversation drifted into a level where everything that was said had hidden meaning. He asked me rhetorically if I could be with someone whose family I couldn’t stand. We’d had these conversations of this flavor before, before I found out he’d been with this girl for six years. Before I found out he was going to go back to her.
After a pause he said “Are you happy for me? …You know we discussed … how we could never be together…” His voice trailed off as he looked away. We hadn’t talked about us in over a year and a half, only short conversations filled with formalities. My heart began to race. “This isn’t appropriate, this conversation were having. You’re engaged now, you chose her. You’re making my heart race. I have to go.” He said he’d stop, but that he’d walk me to my car. We sat in silence as the bill came, and he paid. As we walked he asked me if I’d been to the restaurant we had our first date. More silence. More heart racing. “Goodbye F.” He walked away from the car and didn’t look back.
In July he sent me a fb message a few days after I unfacebooked him. I don’t think he’d realized. Something about a play he thought I would like that was passionate. I didn’t respond.
Fast-forward, a comment on a friends fb page revealed a profile image with a newborn. He must have known at lunch. When we were together, that was one thing we talked about – children. He was eager to have them.
In some respect I feel like it’s finally over. This is it. Even though it shocked me, there was a calmness. I sent him an email congratulating him. “I’m really happy for you.” He responded saying thanks, that it meant it a lot coming from me, asking about why I un-facebooked him, other questions. Other meaningless questions and phrases. But that’s just it. Its over.
xo
Nicki
